When we were kids and we were told that we couldn’t have a Play Station game because it wasn’t suitable, it just made us want it more. When we were teenagers and we were told that we couldn’t drink alcohol because we were too young, it just made us want it more. You know another thing that we want, simply because we can’t have it? Boys – just another type of forbidden fruit for us to lust over.
I have an obsession with wanting what I cannot have, a lot of girls do. There could be a guy in our lives, just sitting on the side line for months and months on end but as soon as he decides to wander elsewhere we’re like “What the hell? Get back here.” As soon as I can’t have them, I want them. As soon as they start to treat me badly, I’m suddenly interested in them. Frankly, this is very annoying.
All of a sudden, you begin to see their potential and you start to like them, and it all becomes one big guessing game. Why don’t they like me? What’s wrong with me? Why is he ignoring me? You start overanalysing absolutely everything under the sun; whether you’re convinced he likes you back because he always sends you Snapchat’s first or you’re pissed off because he was just tagged in a photo with some girl on Facebook. Who IS she? But of course you can’t act like this publicly for fear of being compared to something from a Cian Twomey video.
And the four other nice guys who actually DO want you and would probably make perfect boyfriends? Nah, you don’t want them. That would be too simple, wouldn’t it? There’s nothing better than a good old chase and unless it feels like a prize that you’ve earned, it’s not worth the effort. You can have these guys whenever you want, and you don’t have to do any chasing, so why should you care? Unless they decide they don’t want you anymore of course…
The most annoying part about liking someone that you can’t have? Not being able to tell them. Nobody wants to deal with the embarrassment of telling somebody that they like them, only to get a response of “uhm”. Once upon a time when I told a guy that I liked them, he told me that the feelings weren’t mutual, and I swear to God I’ll never do it again. I wish I had the nerve to bite the bullet and just do it, but I’m a baby, so I’m gonna stay hush hush. You shut up and put up for fear that he won’t feel the same, you’ll scare him away, or fall into the category of the girl he can have whenever.
Why does liking someone have to be a never-ending cycle for me? I treat the ones who like me like crap, and let myself be treated like crap by the ones that I like. Somebody tell me that this ends at some point, please? Will I ever grow up and start liking the stereotypical “nice guy”?
As I explained in my blog post Nice Guys Always Finish Last, we always want to be the girl that changed the bad guy. But is it possible, or do we have to wait for them to change themselves? At least with me, I can pick myself up pretty easily. I know that I can’t make anyone like me, and that there’s plenty more fish in the sea. Whether I’ll be smart about my future choices of fish, I don’t know. You live and you learn, and you eventually get over it.
Actually you know what? I’ll probably never be reasonable with my choices. I’m as confused as I was when I started this post. I hate being a teenage girl. Rant over.