“Blame It On The Other Girl” Syndrome

Right now you’re probably saying, “Blame it on the other girl” syndrome – what the hell is that? It’s something all girls have experienced, whether you’re the one hurling abuse or having it hurled at you, it’s just never had a nameblame1 before. “Blame it on the other girl” syndrome is when a boyfriend or ex hurts your feelings by cheating on you, getting with another girl etc. and you flip out at the girl instead of targeting your anger on the person that deserves it, the boy. This blog post will take you step-by-step into why us girls feel the need to do this, and why we need to stop.

My inspiration for this post came from a “blame it on the other girl” incident I had on the other day. I was the “other girl” in question here, but I hadn’t done anything wrong. To condense it down, I’d been speaking to a guy, and had a cruel comment hurled my way because of issues which had arisen from us speaking. It’s nothing major or drastic, but it got me thinking about this whole “blame it on the other girl” thing a little more. It was a negative experience for me, but I think we can all take something positive from it.

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So why does this happen? Why is it that when the boy we like or love does something to hurt us, we take it out on the other girl involved? Why can’t we just be sensible and blame the boy, why don’t our brains work that way? It’s not right to blame the other girl, but I’ve broken down exactly why we do it, so that hopefully you can learn to stop.

In the case of cheating, there’s often a sense of denial: “No, no, my boyfriend can’t have done this, she must have made the first move and led him on.” It’s easier to pretend that there’s nothing wrong with your relationship than it is to acknowledge that there’s problems, but you still have to direct your built up anger somewhere. That’s where the other girl comes in, you direct your pain and frustration towards her instead of towards your unhealthy relationship.blame

Your boyfriend might be a cheater, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want them anymore. You can’t just snap your fingers and stop loving someone, sometimes it seems pretty much impossible. When he cheats, you’re left in a state of insecurity, and feel like you have to fight off your competition. This is where spats with “the other girl” comes in, as a warning – he’s mine and you need to keep away. You don’t want to lose him, and although you constantly think “Is she prettier than me? Smarter? Funnier?” you also pick at her flaws, and let them know that you can see them as clear as day. Anything to get her back for the pain she single-handedly (not) has caused you.

Another reason that girls target “the other girl” is because it’s easier to confront a woman. She means nothing to you, so you can be as cruel and ruthless as you want to be without the worry of them getting up and leaving you for good.

blame3Before I go any further, I’d like to reiterate that acting this way is not okay. It’s wrong on so many levels, but we’re all guilty of doing it to one extreme or the next. Whether it’s something as simple as saying “sure look at the state of her!” in private to one of your friends, or full on harassment, we’ve all subconsciously done it at one point or another in our lives. But it’s never too late to stop.

So now that you know why you automatically blame the other girl, you can make steps to prevent yourself from doing it in the future, by realising just a couple of things.

He is the one in the relationship, not the other girl. It’s not her fault, she’s not the one that’s committed to you one minute and jumping into bed with another girl the next. Unless it’s your mother, sister, cousin or best friend, you need to reign yourself back and pipe down. She doesn’t need to be abused just for going about her life as normal.

He might not have even told her about you. We all know that some (not all) guys can be sleazy, they’ll do whatever it takes and more to get what they want out of you. Before you get with a guy, do you ask them “do you have a girlfriend?” No, of course not, because you automatically presume that they’re single. Don’t just assume that she knows, because we’re all capable of being sly and sneaky when we want to. blame5

It’s degrading to other women. Who gives you the right to bash another girl for her choices? Nobody. Not only is it slut-shaming but it’s also woman hating, and when people hear you doing it they think it’s okay for them to do it too. As the saying in Mean Girls goes, “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.”

And now for my most important point, there’s no need to be so fucking mean. Some of the comments I’ve had thrown at me for problems like this over the years have stayed with me to this day, and you never know how what you say will affect someone. It costs absolutely nothing to be a nice person, and there’s no need to make somebody feel bad just because you’ve gotten hurt. Girls, stop being so catty with each other, it’s completely unnecessary.

blame6Also, don’t be that idiot. Don’t be that stupid girl that I was when I was fifteen, who kept taking back her boyfriend who cheated on her multiple times and getting into countless arguments with girls about it. You look ridiculous. I look back at myself and practically wince at what a complete door mat I was. It’s painful to think about.

Stand up for yourself but do it the right way, don’t take shit from the person who’s supposed to love you the most, or like you the most, or whatever. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, just get rid of him. You deserve a lot better than that, and you know it. If like in my situation, the problem is with an ex, just stand back from the situation and think about what you’re going to say before you say it. It’s normal to be angry and upset in those situations, but you it’s not fair to take it out on others around you.

“Plus-sized” or Normal Sized?

A couple of days ago, I was scrolling through the sales section of Boohoo when a dress caught my eye. Not particularly standing out from the rest, I clicked into it, and then realised it was plus sized. With raised eyebrows I inspected the model, who was no more than a size 12, while whispering “what the fuck?” to myself multiple times. When I clicked into the “Details and Care” section, it said “Model Wears UK 16” and the cursing started again. You could see this girls collarbones and her arms were about half the size of mine, there wasn’t a hope in hell that she was a size 16.

Seeing that made me think okay, Boohoo clearly use models in a smaller size to what they’re claiming, and last week I got some confirmation of that. I ordered a denim dungaree dress from my Festival Fashion Wishlist post, and becadungareesmodeluse I’m a size 10, that’s what I ordered. Out of curiosity, I decided to check what size they were claiming the model was. When I saw “UK 10”, I was annoyed. Not even because she was definitely smaller than that, but because I knew I’d have to return the dress, reorder it, and it wouldn’t be here in time for Knockanstockan. Cue my disbelief when it arrived and fit me perfectly. For a moment I was flattered, and then I realised there was no way I was as skinny as the model.

After looking around on Boohoo’s website, I found some more pictures of the model (right). As you can see, she has washboard abs and her hips are teeny tiny. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have the hips of a woman who’s just given birth to triplets. Big hips aren’t a bad thing by any means, but they make it a pain in the ass when it comes to buying dresses. Not to mention the fact that I probably have about five more inches of fat on my belly than she does too (sorry to be gross, but it’s the truth). There isn’t a hope in hell that this model is wearing a size 10 in this picture, or in the picture of the dungarees, because I’m at least one size bigger than her, if not two. I wouldn’t have been able to squeeze my birthing hips into the dungarees otherwise.

Getting back to the plus-sized models argument, let’s look at two different girls. First up, we have “Model A”, who is wearing a size 16 according to Boohoo. (Sorry that the pictures are blurry!)

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Okay for one, you can see this girl’s abs in one of these pictures. As I said before, I’m a size 10 and her belly is much, much flatter than mine. To me, this looks like a sporty girl. You know the type, girls who play football and have really toned, strong bodies. Also known as, normal sized girls. People might disagree, but her collarbones are jutting out and I really can’t see how she’s more than a size 12.

Next up, we have “Model B” who Boohoo also claim to be a size 16. This one really, really irritated me because this girl is skinnier than me, and there’s no way that I’m a size 16 or (if I’m bigger than her) a size 18.

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Her arms are like twigs, she has a flat belly, her legs are pretty slim and her collarbones are jutting out. Size 16? I don’t think so. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a size 16; if you’re happy with your body then that’s perfect. But to say that this girl is a size 16 when she’s clearly not is sending out the wrong message to young girls, who are probably the same size as her and wearing a size 10. They’re going to notice that they’re the same size as her, and convince themselves that they’re plus-sized. The average size for a woman in Ireland is a size 14, so in reality, they’re far from plus-sized.

“Plus-sized” tends to be for bigger, curvier ladies. So the message Boohoo are sending out is, “If I look like this, I’m big” when in reality, a lot of these girls are normal sized, and some are quite thin. There are fifteen year old girls who use this site, and it makes me think back to what my mind frame was like when I was that age.

When I was fifteen, I was convinced that I was fat. Huge, morbidly obese, enormous. I was 5ft 2ins and I weighed 7 stone and 2lbs. I was absolutely tiny, but my view was so distorted because of images of models and celebrities that I was looking at, and I thought I was fat. I’m two stone heavier than this now, and I wouldn’t consider myself as fat, so I don’t know where I was going at all when I was fifteen. Looking back at pictures, I looked like I was about to snap in half at any given moment. Again, there’s nothing wrong with being this weight if you’re happy and healthy, but I don’t think it was a healthy weight for me.

My point is that young girls are easily led, and their opinion of what’s “fat” and what’s “skinny” can be easily distorted. Although I’m eighteen now and I can rationalise that Boohoo are wrong, I wouldn’t have seen it that way when I was younger. The only way that this can change is if we make complaints to Boohoo, which I have done already, because frankly it’s making girls everywhere feel like shit.

Positive Quotes For Rainy Days

The day is gloomy; it’s raining outside and it’s freezing cold and it’s not exactly the most uplifting thing in the world. When you’re feeling down and it seems like everything’s against you (and the weather is shit), it’s all about using the little things in life to help you feel better. Something small that I find helpful when I’m feeling down, is quotes. Far from the conventional and slightly patronising “Just think positive”, here are some of my favourite quotes for rainy days.

1. “In the end, we only regret the things we didn’t do, and the chances we didn’t take.” This is my go-to quote when I’m in a fit of anxiety thinking about whether I should or I shouldn’t, with all of the what if’s thrown in between. There are so many opportunities in the world, and it’s all about going out there and grasping them with both arms. Often enough, the same opportunities don’t roll around twice. Go out there and do it!

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2. “I’d rather have a life of oh well’s than a life of what if’s.” Linking up with the last quote, I think of this a lot when I’m anxious. A lot of the time, my anxiety stops me doing things and I completely beat myself up after it. Although I’m anxious about the situation, I know that avoiding it won’t make me feel any better. I’ll just be left thinking about it, whereas if I just went out and did it, at least it’s done. And if it went badly? It’s a lesson learned for next time.

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3. “Never a failure, always a lesson.” It’s inevitable – sometimes things can go wrong, drastically wrong. But instead of focusing on your mistake and getting up in a heap over it, see it as a lesson learned. You tried, you took something valuable from the situation, and you won’t make the same mistake twice. Everyone messes up, we’re only human. It’s okay to mess up sometimes.

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4. “Just because you’re struggling does not mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some sort of struggle to get there.” This was the quote that somehow managed to get me through my leaving cert. Getting to where you want to be in life can be difficult, and sometimes you’ll want to give up when things are going wrong. But knowing that nothing worth having ever comes easily can help, and it will all be worth it when you have your success story at the end of the day. Nobody is successful without a struggle.

pos75. “There are far better things ahead than those we leave behind.” This quote can apply to a lot of things – old friends, missed job opportunities, anything really. But the people that are in your past are there for a reason, I believe that if somebody really wants to stay in your life, they’ll fight for it. Some people come into our lives as a blessing, and others are just there to teach us a lesson or two. Those who leave are just making space for more people to enter our lives, and hopefully stay.

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6. “Big things often have small beginnings.” This can be applied to everyday life, but I often use it to justify my career choice. I was always told that “There’s no jobs in journalism” and “You have to be a really good writer to be a successful journalist”, and although that’s true, it takes time and patience to become a good writer. Once upon a time I started this blog and nobody was reading it, and now I have over 40,000 viewers. Every small step is a step in the right direction, and added together will lead to big things in the future.

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7. “You can’t appreciate the good days without the bad ones.” The bad things that happen to us in life make us appreciate the good things, and the little things, so much more. We can’t change our bad days, but we can learn from them. If I have an anxiety-free week (okay that’s pushing it, try an anxiety-free day) I’m on top of the world, because I know how much anxiety can drag me down. Appreciate the good days while they’re there, and make the most of them.

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8. “Life is a gift, don’t take it for granted.” Okay, so this isn’t exactly a conventional positive quote but bare with me. I’m a firm believer in living every day like its your last, because you never know when it will be. I make sure that I do at least three things every day that make me happy, make me feel good or make me feel like I’m helping somebody out. You can’t take your happiness, or the gift of life in general for granted. pos99. “What’s meant to be will always find its way.” Right now, you might not be where you expected to be in life. But I can guarantee you, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. I believe that life is planned out for us all, from the day we’re born until the day we die, and the things we experience shape us into who we’re truly meant to be. I’m not sure if I believe that there’s a God out there who does all the planning for us, but I guess somehow had to, right?

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10. “What will be, will be.” Sometimes things go to shit, and you just have to deal with it. What will be, will be, and you just have to make the most out of all the situations life throws at you. I love this saying so much that I got it tattooed on my thigh, it’s a constant reminder to live in the moment, because you can’t see what the future will bring.que-sera

My Festival Fashion Wishlist

Having already been to two music festivals this summer and with three more coming up, I’ve learned all about festival fashion, what’s practical and what’s a complete pain in the ass when it comes to clothing. Being honest, most of your clothes end up ruined and you never quite get the smell of muck out of them again. But when it comes to pretty festival clothes, a girl can dream, right? Here’s my festival fashion wishlist for summer 2015.

Far from the conventional and boring rain jacket, this shiny purple number practically has rave written all over it. It’ll keep you shielded from any rain you may encounter on your journeys, and at €47.00 on Boohoo.com I’d like to hope it would keep you warm as well. It’s girly and glamorous and I think I’ve fallen in love with this Holographic Mac a little too much already. The High Shine Yellow Rain Mac from ASOS‘ petite section also caught my eye, and can be bought for €61.64.
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These crop tops are on my wishlist for two reasons. 1. Because like all of these, I don’t have the money to buy them right now (hence the wishing) and 2. Because I’d probably never leave the house in tops like these unless I had seriously high-waisted trousers on. This Crochet Off-The-Shoulder Top is perfect for festival season because it can be mixed and matched with a number of different outfits. You can buy it on Boohoo.com for €22.00, and it also comes in white. This Floral Halterneck Crop Top also caught my eye, it’s really unique and you can guarantee that there’ll be nobody else looking the same. This can be bought on ASOS for €30.14. Another top that I completely fell in love with was this Off-The-Shoulder Sun and Moon Print Crop Top, it gives off festival vibes to the maximum and isn’t too expensive either at €21.29. You can buy it over at ASOS.

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High-waisted shorts are a must on every girls shopping list, but it can be hard to find a nice pair. These Denim Zip-Front Shorts from ASOS come in at a hefty price of €38.35, but if like me you’re heading off to a few festivals this summer, they’ll be a good investment. I’m justifying buying them by telling myself I’ll wear them at least seven times, and €38 divided by 7 is around a fiver. Sure they’re practically a bargain! If you like the lighter denim look and are looking for something a little more different, these High Rise Crochet Denim Shorts at €41.09 could be exactly what you have in mind.

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Dresses are a life-saver when it comes to festivals, they can be worn during the day as well as at night time, and all you need to do is add a jacket and a pair of tights when switching between the two. Here are three of my favourites, which all come from ASOSFirst is the Tassle Trim Cami Dress which just screams festival. Fully lined with a velvet feel, this comes in at €47.94. Next up we have the Blue Faux Suede Dress – cute, versatile, and can be worn all summer long. Funnily enough, this also costs €47.94. And last but not least, the Floral-Print Lace Hemmed Dress which costs €38.35. Three beautiful dresses, one for every day of the festival.dress1dress2dress3

When it’s too hot for a jacket, but not hot enough to go without, I like to have a checkered shirt with me to throw on and off (and probably lose) as I please. I really like the look of this Boyfriend Shirt from ASOS, and at €34.25 it doesn’t work out to be too expensive (as long as you don’t lose it).shirt

Dungarees are the cutest things in the world, but lets be real, they’d be such a pain to be messing around with when you’re drunk in a portaloo. This Denim Dungaree Dress from ASOS has all the adorable qualities of dungarees without the hassle, and at only €27.40 I’ll definitely be making an investment.

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When it comes to handbags, the better option is to give your trusty Michael Kors a break for the weekend. I like to bring two bags with me, one for day and one for night. This Vintage Embroidery Backpack would be ideal for during the day. You want somewhere to store your cans when you’re moving from one friend’s tent to the next, and somewhere to keep your phone charger on your trek for a plug. This bag is perfect, but at €65.75 on ASOS it’s a little pricey. Isn’t it so pretty though? When you’re dancing the night away, the last thing you want is to be holding onto your bag for dear life. This Embellished Bum Bag is a girls best friend for situations like these, and if I had my way I’d buy this one on ASOS for €41.09.

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If there’s one thing you need to bring to a festival, it’s a good pair of wellies. By day three there won’t be a blade of grass left to be seen in the park, and life will be a constant game of stuck in the mud. Nothing will ruin your weekend like having your feet covered in muck all the time, and you can easily avoid this by investing in a pair of wellies. There’s always the cheap and cheerful variety, but if I had the choice I’d buy these Adjustable Gloss Wellington Boots from hunterboots.com. They’re usually €130 but are on sale for €104 at the moment. A girl can dream, I guess.

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So there you have it, my festival fashion wishlist. At this point in my post I’d just like to remind you all that it’s my birthday next month. If anyone would like to get my an early birthday present, I’m a size 10 and my shoe size is 4. Please, anyone?

The Cycle of Wanting What You Can’t Have

When we were kids and we were told that we couldn’t have a Play Station game because it wasn’t suitable, it just made us want it more. When we were teenagers and we were told that we couldn’t drink alcohol because we were too young, it just made us want it more. You know another thing that we want, simply because we can’t have it? Boys – just another type of forbidden fruit for us to lust over. like

I have an obsession with wanting what I cannot have, a lot of girls do. There could be a guy in our lives, just sitting on the side line for months and months on end but as soon as he decides to wander elsewhere we’re like “What the hell? Get back here.” As soon as I can’t have them, I want them. As soon as they start to treat me badly, I’m suddenly interested in them. Frankly, this is very annoying.

All of a sudden, you begin to see their potential and you start to like them, and it all becomes one big guessing game. Why don’t they like me? What’s wrong with me? Why is he ignoring me? You start overanalysing absolutely everything under the sun; whether you’re convinced he likes you back because he always sends you Snapchat’s first or you’re pissed off because he was just tagged in a photo with some girl on Facebook. Who IS she? But of course you can’t act like this publicly for fear of being compared to something from a Cian Twomey video.

idiotAnd the four other nice guys who actually DO want you and would probably make perfect boyfriends? Nah, you don’t want them. That would be too simple, wouldn’t it? There’s nothing better than a good old chase and unless it feels like a prize that you’ve earned, it’s not worth the effort. You can have these guys whenever you want, and you don’t have to do any chasing, so why should you care? Unless they decide they don’t want you anymore of course…

The most annoying part about liking someone that you can’t have? Not being able to tell them. Nobody wants to deal with the embarrassment of telling somebody that they like them, only to get a response of “uhm”. Once upon a time when I told a guy that I liked them, he told me that the feelings weren’t mutual, and I swear to God I’ll never do it again. I wish I had the nerve to bite the bullet and just do it, but I’m a baby, so I’m gonna stay hush hush. You shut up and put up for fear that he won’t feel the same, you’ll scare him away, or fall into the category of the girl he can have whenever.

Why does liking someone have to be a never-ending cycle for me? I treat the ones who like me like crap, and let myself be treated like crap by the ones that I like. Somebody tell me that this ends at some point, please? Will I ever grow up and start liking the stereotypical “nice guy”? effy11

As I explained in my blog post Nice Guys Always Finish Last, we always want to be the girl that changed the bad guy. But is it possible, or do we have to wait for them to change themselves? At least with me, I can pick myself up pretty easily. I know that I can’t make anyone like me, and that there’s plenty more fish in the sea. Whether I’ll be smart about my future choices of fish, I don’t know. You live and you learn, and you eventually get over it.

Actually you know what? I’ll probably never be reasonable with my choices. I’m as confused as I was when I started this post. I hate being a teenage girl. Rant over.

The Festival Lowdown – Knockanstockan

Having won Best Small Festival, Best Line-Up, and the Family Festival Award in 2012, it’s clear that Knockanstockan has a lot to offer. It’s one of the smaller and lesser known festivals, but that doesn’t mean that it’s anything to look dowknockn on.

A sell out event in 2014, if you want your Knockanstockan tickets you need to act quickly. Taking place at Blessington Lake, Wicklow on the 24th and 25th of July this year, this festival is sure to bring you the only the best from the underground music scene.

Knockanstockan is a completely non-profit festival, run by over 250 volunteers with the help of many musicians, artists and community members. It showcases some of the best raw talent in the country, and has been compared to a cheap and cheerful alternative to the ever popular Body & Soul.

knock2You might look at Knockanstockan’s line up, consisting of the likes of O Emperor, Syd Arthur, The Eskies and Twin Headed Wolf and think, “I don’t really know any of these bands” but that’s where the beauty lies with this festival.

With a long list of genres including rock, folk, traditional Irish, rap, soul, dance and much more, you have the opportunity to explore and listen to music that you never would have thought to listen to before. It’s a relaxed and chilled environment and with over 150 acts to choose from, you’re sure to leave with a couple of new favourites.

At only €80 for a weekend ticket, Knockanstockan is definitely one of the more student friendly festivals. A family camping ticket is only €160, and if you have your own campervan the weekend works out at €105. Return buses can also be booked from Dublin at only €15, which is both cheap and convenient.knock3

From hearty steak sandwiches to homemade ice cream, your wish is Knockanstockan’s command when it comes to delicious food. There will also be a range of vegan and vegetarian options available, so nobody’s left out.

And onto an important aspect of any festival – alcohol. Knockanstockan is fully licenced, with a range of fun and funky bars to suit your needs. As well as that, they’re one of the sounder festivals who allow you to bring your own beer, which is also handy for students on a budget. Tobacco is also available on site, for those of you who forgot to cross it off your checklist.

knock4Always striving to make an improvement, Knockanstockan’s campsite is larger than ever this year, as well as having a bigger and better camper van field. There’s nothing worse than having four other tents thrown on top of your own, and at least at Knockanstockan you’ll have plenty of space.

Not just a festival for the music, art and activities are another primary focus at Knockanstockan. This year they’re exploring the concept of light and dark, and the transformation of artwork between day and night. Art installations of this theme will be all around the festival site.

Like they do every year, Knockanstockan will be hosting a full programme of performance art. There will be spoken word artists, pop up performances, stilt walkers and acrobats to name but a few. These are the little things that are sure to make Knockanstockan 2015 a festival to remember.

If after reading this Knockanstockan is really appealing to you, you’ll need to get your tickets quick. With a little over two weeks to go until the festival, it wouldn’t be a surprise for it to sell out again, and it’s not one that you’ll want to miss.

“Avicii Girl” – Another Case of Sexism and Slut Shaming

If any of you took to Twitter, Facebook or Instagram yesterday morning you’ll have seen what was probably the most popular picture taken from Avicii. Shared on the likes of “The Lad Bible” and by the infamous “Dublin Girlo” was a picture of a girl and a boy at the concert, engaging in a sex act. As per usual, it was the girl getting slated, with comments calling her a slut, saying she was an example of girls going downhill in society, and all sorts of nasty insults. I wrote a blog post befss6ore about “slut shaming” which you can read here: “She’s Such a Slut” , but felt it was necessary to revisit the topic because I still have so much to say after this incident.

Before I start I’d like to say that by no means do I condone this type of behaviour, public indecency isn’t something that anyone wants to see at a concert and it’s also illegal. But it’s illegal for both of them, not just the girl, and neither of them should have done it.

First of all I’d like to point out the amount of very young girls that were at the concert. Although it was an over 18’s event, I spoke to a few girls who were underage and seen a lot more who looked extremely young. Who’s to say that the girl in the picture isn’t underage? If she, or he, is under the age of 18, that is a picture of a child/children engaging in a sex act and anyone who shares it or uploads it to a social media site could get into a lot of trouble for it.

ss2I’d like to ask the question, have you ever made a drunken mistake? 99% of people reading this will say yes, I have. Have you ever woken up with crippling fear over what you’ve done the night before, having had too much to drink? Again, the answer is probably yes. We’ve all done stupid things after getting ourselves into a drunken state, it happens to everyone. But what if your drunken mistake had been caught on camera, and uploaded to social media for the world to see? Imagine how horrified and sick and anxious you’d feel. Why would anyone want to inflict that on a young girl? I highly doubt she woke up the next morning, scrolled through Facebook and thought “Wow, I’m so proud of that.”ss1

Making my main point here, why is it always the girl who gets shamed? It was “Slane Girl” and “Avicii Girl” when there were boys in both of the pictures. “Slane Girl” was performing a sex act on the boy, and she got the blame. “Avicii Girl” was having a sex act performed on her, yet still, she also got the blame. The boy is deemed a hero and the girl called a whore, and this kind of blatant sexism is not on. They both did a silly thing, and it’s unfair for the girl to get the blame. And have we all forgotten that after the “Slane Girl” incident, the girl had to be hospitalised?

Although Facebook have removed the majority of the pictures, there’s still some uploaded on Twitter. I spoke with a man who had the photograph on his account, trying to make the above points in 140 characters. He responded by making a series of points that made little to no sense.

ss3Tweet no. 1: “Get a grip she shouldn’t be spreading her legs in a park with thousands of people mind ur own business what I post”. The problem with this is that again, he focused on the girl and not the boy. He also told me to mind my own business, even though his Twitter page was on a public setting. Clearly, he’d uploaded the picture in the hope of getting some retweets and attention.

Tweet no. 2: “It’s always girls doing stuff like this at concerts”. This one made absolutely no sense because for one, it’s the boy doing the “doing” in the photograph from Avicii. It’s not two girls doing it to each other, and it’s not a girl doing it to herself. It is a boy and a girl engaging in a sex act, together, so it can’t just be the girl who gets the blame.

Tweet no. 3: “Don’t be snapping just cause it didn’t happen to you #feedthepony”. Well, this one’s kind of self-explanatory isn’t it? The life of a girl, being ridiculed if you have sex, and also being ridiculed if you don’t.

Another favourite tweet of mine was this: “Irritates me that people think “slut shaming” is a bad thing. I’m sorry if your a dirty slut you SHOULD be ashamed. #slutshaming #aviciigirl”. As can be seen in the paragraph above, girlsss4 will be shamed whether or not they have sex. There is no such thing as a “slut”, and as long as both you and your partner give consent to what is happening, you should not be ashamed. If you have sex too young you’re deemed a “slut”, if you engage in a sex act with somebody who you’re not going out with you’re deemed a “slut”, if you kiss too many boys you’re deemed a “slut”. It’s a word that has no proper meaning and is just thrown around loosely to insult females.

On a final note, I’d like to ask you to think before you share, like or upload indecent pictures like this in the future. That girl is somebodies daughter, sister, cousin, best friend. She is a real person with real feelings, and doesn’t deserve the backlash she’ll get from making a mistake. If you knew this girl, it would be very easy to recognise her in the picture. This is something that could easily happen to anyone, so please keep that in mind before you start to slut-shame.