We grow up imagining and wishing that our lives could be like the movies; the perfect friends, the perfect life, the perfect guy. But when you think about it, it’s never really straight forward in the movies, is it? I’ve never once seen a movie where it’s all plain sailing, I mean that would be boring. The girl never meets the guy of her dreams and from the very beginning it’s all perfection. There’s usually a chase, some crazy things will happen and there’s probably another girl involved. But the star of the movie always comes out on top, and I guess that’s why girls always go for bad guys. We want to be the good girl who changed the bad guy. We want to be the star of the movie too.
Let me start this by stating that I have nothing against nice guys. You’re wonderful, but sometimes wonderful just isn’t what a girl wants. For something to be straight forward and handed to you is just plain boring, as with all things in life. If we have to work hard for months on end to buy ourselves a new car, do we appreciate it? Hell yeah we do! But what about when our parents just hand it to us? We don’t appreciate it anywhere near as much as we should, because it was easy. Unless we have to fight for something, it’s usually pretty difficult to respect and value it as much as we should.
Back to the movie comparison, movies are always crazy, right? And that’s what girls desire in their lives. We want passion, fire, we want mad things to happen. You can’t have that if everything is just handed on a plate to you. In the movies there’s always obstacles to overcome, there’s always a chase. And although that chase might tear you down and completely exhaust you, it seems to be worth it in the end. It’s not like being with the “nice guy”, where things are always mediocre. With a bad boy, things are either really good, or really, really bad, so the thrill you get when things are going smoothly seems to make it all worth it. Because you experience the lows, you appreciate the highs so much more.
A lot of the time we’re told to go for the nice guy because you’ll never get a long-term relationship out of a fling with a bad boy. And while this is mostly true, subconsciously this can be what a girl is looking for. For girls like myself who are serious commitment phobes, it’s sometimes easier to go for the bad guy because you know that it won’t last. You know you’re going to get hurt, so you’re somewhat prepared for it. This eliminates the possibility of staying with a guy for a long time, only to have your heart broken in the end. Also, if a girl has been hurt before, sometimes she has a “too good to be true” mentality with nice guys. Although we may not want to, after a messy breakup it’s all too easy to think that all guys are the same. It’s easier to just go with the bad guy, so that you know what you’re letting yourself in for.
There’s a certain sense of mystery that comes with bad guys. You’re always thinking, “Why doesn’t he like me?” and “What am I doing wrong?” Yes I’m aware that it’s not exactly healthy, but it sure does keep us on our toes. It keeps us interested, and makes us more attentive of everything. Similar routine of a guy will hit the snooze button on in a woman’s head, and we fall for men who are a bit of a challenge. We all love a challenge, right? Maybe we should take a look at the word “challenge”… Challenges, by nature, are difficult. If a challenge isn’t challenging, then it isn’t a very good challenge to begin with (I just used that word like ten times and I’m really sorry, but you get my point). By making your relationship a challenge, you are literally making it difficult to be with a person. You are creating space between you and the prize. Weird, isn’t it? Apparently, that’s what we want.
Whether you want to admit it or not, everybody loves a bit of drama. Without it, life would be boring, I mean what would you cry about when you’re drunk if there was no upheaval with guys in your life? We crave excitement, and sometimes nice guys just don’t give you that. As I said, when things are going mediocre all the time we never really appreciate it, because we haven’t experienced any bad patches. This can make it all a little boring, which nobody wants to experience.
We’re always told that you never settle with a bad guy, and while that’s true, I think it’s important that we understand why. A women will never settle with a bad guy because they grow out of it. At some point in their lives, like women, men decide that they want to settle down and find a wife, start a family. They’re aware that they can’t do this if they keep messing around with women’s emotions. And more often than not, they change because they’ve met the right girl, and want to stay with her. So that’s what us women are striving for, we want to tame the bad guy. Unfortunately, this can mean that the nice guys get left to the side, which proves the saying “nice guys always finish last”. Because we want to be the good girl who changed the bad guy. We want to be the star of the movie too.