Mental Illness Medication – Still a Stigma?

The acceptance of mental health issues is something that’s come along in leaps and bounds over the last five years. Having dealt with generalised anxiety disorder since I was around seven years old, it’s something that I’ve experienced personally, not just witnessing the change. But with mental illness being a topic that’s so close to home, there’s other things that I’ve noticed that others haven’t seemed to pick up on. Yes, people are becoming more accepting of these issues, but there are still major problems associated with them. There still seems to be a major stigma attached to taking medication for mental health issues.

Although I’d had GAD for years, it was only in fifth year that I was properly diagnosed, and in sixth year living with it was an absolute nightmare. I was working my ass off to get the course of my dreams, Midwifery, but was finding it extremely hard to cope with the stress and pressure I was putting myself under. I tried everything, and I mean everything, to fix myself. I went to different counsellors, I meditated, I did yoga, I exercised, I paid a bomb for hypnotherapy and tried numerous herbal alternatives to medication, but in the end nothing was working.

I’d exhausted all of my options and decided that it was time to see a doctor, but there was one thing that was putting me off. I was informed that in a job like Midwifery, your medical records are checked and if you’ve had any mental health issues in the past you won’t be hired. This irritated me beyond description. Essentially, I was being told that I would be judged because I had a mental illness, and that nobody wanted to hire a mentally ill person. Discrimination is a word that sprung to mind immediately, I was disgusted. I thought to myself, isn’t it better to hire somebody who has been diagnosed with an illness and is being treated for it, so that it won’t affect their work, than to leave them scared and ashamed to take the medication that they need for fear of losing their job?

This incident left me petrified to go near any medication for my anxiety, I’d worked so hard for my course and I wasn’t going to let something as stupid as my medical record stop me from achieving my dream. In the end, my anxiety alone stopped me from achieving my dream, because I was too afraid to get the medical help that I clearly needed. Had I been medicated when my anxiety was at its all-time worse, I probably would have gotten the course that I deserved.

My parents, along with myself, were afraid of what would happen if I went on medication. It balances out the chemicals in your brain, which sounds a little scary when your brain is the control panel of your whole body. When my anxiety got bad again this semester, I decided that I needed to give medication a try. No newspaper in the future is going to be asking for my medical records, and I’m pretty sure I’ll have figured out how to keep my anxiety under control in five or six years time anyways. I was prescribed medication that I can’t even remember the name of, and if I’m honest it was a load of crap. I lost interest in absolutely everything, and if anything it was making me worse. I gave it some time to work, but after two months decided that enough was enough. I was stuck in a rut again. Medication didn’t work, what was I going to do now?

I went back to my doctor who decided we’d try another approach, and I was prescribed Xanax. Yes, Xanax. When I heard the word, I started to imagine how I’d be on these tablets: drowsy, slurred speech, unaware of my surroundings. After the horror stories of Xanax that I’d heard, I was terrified to take them. I read the side effects on the instructions leaflet and almost started to cry, what kind of freak was this going to turn me into? I don’t take them regularly, only when I’m in a fit of anxiety, so when I had my first bout of panic after receiving my prescription I tried one out, and was pleasantly surprised. It calmed me down, and that was all that it did. It didn’t make me drowsy or crazy or weird, I was just like myself, but calm. It seemed like I had finally found the answer to my problems.

I’m open about my anxiety and everybody knows it, but for some reason I was afraid to tell anyone that I was taking medication for it. Not that I’d be shouting it from the rooftops anyways, but for example, when I take one during the day I can’t drink afterwards. If me and my friends were going out and somebody asked why I wasn’t drinking, there wasn’t a hope in hell that I felt comfortable saying it was because I was on medication for anxiety. I was ashamed of it, something that annoyed me, because I wouldn’t have been ashamed if I was on antibiotics for a throat infection. I wouldn’t have been ashamed if I couldn’t drink sugary alcoholic drinks because I was diabetic. So why was I so ashamed about being on Xanax? What I’d been told in sixth year had stuck with me, that I wouldn’t be accepted if I was on medication for a mental illness.

I went through eleven years of anxiety before I finally gave in and tried medication, and if I’d only tried it sooner it probably wouldn’t be as bad as it is today. Another reason I waited so long is that I was always told “Medication for mental health issues isn’t good for you”. Well you know what? Medication for many different issues “isn’t good for you”. If you take medication for a very long time or abuse it, it can wreak havoc on your body, but nobody says that about other illnesses. It’s always mental health issues, and I’m tired of it.

If a friend or family member is on medication for their mental health, please don’t jump to conclusions and think that it’s going to alter their lives or tell them that it’s not good for them. Believe me, we’ve heard it all before and weighed up every option before deciding to go down the medical route. What I’d say to anyone who, like me, had exhausted every other option is this: do not be afraid to take medication. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and change things up when they’re not working. Not all medication works for everyone, and it may take a while to find one that suits you. I’m not saying to go straight down the route of medication, but please, don’t be afraid to try it. It could be the one thing that really helps.

Things Guys Do That Really Piss Girls Off

Text “what’s up?” and then not reply for five hours. If you want to talk to us, then talk to us

boys 13Cancel plans last minute. We shaved our legs for this shit.

cancelled plansSay “I’ll ring you at half 10” and not ringing until quarter to twelve. We need this thing called beauty sleep, you know?

no-sleepGiving mixed signals. There’s nothing more annoying than not knowing where you stand with somebody.

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Liking other girl’s photos on Facebook. Do you have a death wish?

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When you’re active on Facebook but don’t text back. It will make a girl crazy.

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Ignoring our snapchats. Just don’t.

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Destroying things when you’re drunk. You smashed a bottle off the wall? Wow, I sure want a piece of you now Mr. Tough Guy.

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Playing with our feelings because you’re unsure of your own. Figure it out before you decide to string us along into this mess please.boys 5

Say “girls are difficult compared to guys”. Ha ha HA, you have no idea.

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Beep your car horn and shout out the window at us. What exactly are you expecting to achieve from this?

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Sending a text consisting solely of “?”. What do you mean “?” ???????

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Expecting us to be okay with the fact that you don’t want a relationship, just because you want to play the field. Ever heard of the saying, you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

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Turning into a completely different person in front of your friends. There’s no need to get all cocky, okay?

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Use us. Stop it.

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When all you talk about is football. That’s what your friends are for.

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When you give us your number but don’t text back. What’s the point?

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Catcall. We’re not animals.

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Break promises. More commonly known as the eighth deadly sin.

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Hiding your feelings. Why are you so afraid to show that you might actually like someone?

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String more than one girl along at once. We’re girls, we find out everything.

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Comment on our makeup. “I don’t like dark lipstick”, well I guess it’s a good thing you’re not wearing it then, isn’t it?

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Attempt to grow a beard when you can’t. It’s patchy and it’s making you look homeless, please stop.

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Shaming other girls. Whether it’s fat-shaming or slut-shaming, just stop commenting on other girls’ appearances already.

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Ask if we’re on our period when we get annoyed about any of the above. Don’t you dare.

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“Everyone I’ve asked is voting yes”

With the marriage referendum fast approaching, it’s a topic that’s never far from conversation here in college. It’s plastered all over Facebook, with young people coming out in force to show their support for gay rights. Almost everyone that I’ve talked to has said “The marriage referendum will definitely pass, everyone I’ve asked is voting yes,” but me? I’m not so convinced that it will. “Everyone” that we ask is voting yes, but who is “everyone” exactly?

You’ve all seen the “NO” posters littered around the streets, and are familiar with the arguments used by the “NO” side to sway the public their way. But through the wonderful world of social media, these arguments have proven to be invalid and incorrect, and every young person that uses Twitter or Facebook is aware of that. But what about the people who haven’t been informed of this? What about the people who don’t use social media, like some of our mothers, fathers, and grandparents? How are they supposed to know that what they’re being fed by the “NO” side is a pack of outrageous lies? All they’re seeing are posters telling them to think of the children, and many of them are going to believe it because they don’t have access to the correct information. I think we can all agree that the “YES” posters aren’t exactly what we would have hoped for. So that leaves it up to us to talk to them about the marriage referendum, and inform them of the truths.

If you are unsure as to whether your family members are voting yes or no, you should talk to them about what the marriage referendum really means. Start the conversation with something simple and open, so that they don’t think you’re just forcing your opinion down the115ir throat. Yesterday, I brought up the topic to my Mum by calling her and asking her if my polling card had come in the post yet. She said that it had, so I got straight to it and asked if she’d made up her mind about which way she was voting yet. As a woman who really cares about her own children, I know that the “NO” posters had probably grabbed her attention on more than one occasion, but she said that she wasn’t sure if she’d vote, so I knew I still had a chance to sway her towards the “YES” side. After our phone call and some searching on the internet, I sent her this picture on Viber, followed by a text to let her know that it was just a fact sheet to help her decide which way to vote. It was simple, non-invasive and hopefully effective, and I’d advise everybody to do the same with their relatives who have had minimal exposure to the “YES” side.

116We can’t blame people for saying they’ll vote “NO” when they haven’t been informed of the true facts about the referendum. I told my Dad that gay people can already adopt children in Ireland, which I’m pretty sure he didn’t know beforehand. I also made the point to my parents that one day I’ll have children of my own. Sure, the marriage referendum doesn’t affect them right now but what about if I have a child who turns out to be gay? Wouldn’t they want them to be happy too? They agreed, and it’s straight forward facts like this that can easily sway people towards the “YES” side.

It seems that “everyone” is voting “YES” because the “NO” voters are staying quiet. They know in their hearts that their opinion is that of a homophobic one, and that other people will get angry with them because of it (and rightly so). But these people aren’t going to stay quiet on May 22nd, as opposed to some of the “YES” voters. A huge percentage of 18-22 year olds failed to register, and others can’t due to college exams, work, or being away from home on the day. Something as simple as not being able to get a lift to the polling station could stop somebody from voting “YES”, no matter how much they want to. I think it’s important that we realise that a referendum can be lost by just ONE vote, which shows the importance of using yours.

We have one more week until the referendum takes place, and it’s important that we spend our time wisely. Don’t just presume that “everyone” is voting “YES”. It may seem that way in college, where people are more open minded because of what they’ve seen on the internet. But there are still people who are being misinformed by the “NO” side and being led astray. It’s our job to teach these people the truth, and ensure that the referendum passes on the 22nd. You have a voice, use it.

For further information on the marriage referendum, visit this website: http://refcom2015.ie/marriage/

Things To Consider Before Getting a Tattoo

Tattoos are a big commitment, and unless you decide to go down the painful route of laser removal they’re permanently a part of your body and will remain there for the rest of your life. I’ve known that I wanted tattoos since I was about 15, and had my first one planned almost two years in advance before I actually got it done. I think planning and consideration are extremely important when you’re thinking about getting a tattoo, so here are a couple of thinks you should do before getting inked. 191

  1. Make sure you don’t get sick of the design

When you decide on a design, my advice would be to wait at least six months before you get it tattooed. During this time, I’d suggest putting the design as your wallpaper on your phone – that way you’ll see it every day, as you would if it was on your body, and hopefully you won’t get sick of it. If after the six months, you’re still as madly in love with the design as you were at the start, move onto step two. 190

  1. Find an artist that specialises in the type of tattoo you want

You could go to one of the most amazing tattoo artists in the world, but if you want a watercolour tattoo and they specialise in dot work, you’re going to be disappointed with the outcome. Use Instagram and Facebook to research different artists and look through pictures of their recent work. When I was getting my first tattoo I had my heart set on getting it done by Paul O’Rourke, but I was still a little unsure. Once I saw Steve Savage’s portfolio and his talent for script tattoos, I knew straight away that I wanted it done by him. It might take months of searching, but it’ll be worth it once you have a tattoo that you’re 100% happy with.

  1. Don’t ask for too many people’s advice on your design

204At the end of the day it’s your body and your tattoo, and getting too many varying opinions from your friends and family could leave you feeling a little unsure about something you once had your heart set on. Even when it comes to friends who also have tattoos, everyone’s taste is different and at the end of the day you’re getting a tattoo for yourself and not for anyone else. With my tattoo’s I only showed a handful of people before getting them done, because I didn’t want to be swayed by the opinion of other’s for something that I did for myself. 117

  1. Price

Cheap tattoos aren’t good, and good tattoos aren’t cheap. When you tell people how much your tattoo cost, you’ll be sure to hear at least once, “My cousin is a tattoo artist, but he does them at home and only charges like €50 for a sleeve.” Yes, it can be off-putting when the tattoo that you want costs more than a month’s rent, but remember that you’re paying for somebody to permanently alter your body. If you want it to look good, you’re going to have to pay good money. I was lucky in that both my tattoos were done by artists that were within my price range, but unfortunately this doesn’t always happen.

  1. Placement

118People bang on and on about job opportunities when you have tattoos, but realistically if it’s in a spot that you can hide you’re pretty much covered when it comes to work (pun intended). My tattoos are on my thigh and calf, something that can easily be covered with trousers or tights for work purposes. There is a certain amount of judgement associated with tattoos, so if you’re conscious of other people’s opinions (which I’m not), don’t get them on places that are impossible to cover like your neck or hands. If you want to cover it badly enough you’ll find a way to, so don’t let that sway your placement decision too much. Your artist can also help you when it comes to deciding on this.

  1. Listen to your artists advice

During your consultation, your artist will talk you through how they’ll make your design look the best it can, and I’d advise listening to them. They’re the professionals at the end of the day, and they know what they’re talking about. Usually, they’ll change up your design a little bit and more often than not it’s for a good reason. For example, with my first tattoo I had intended for there to be six flowers but we decided on three instead so as not to distract from the quote, which was the most important element of the tattoo. With my second tattoo, there’s a lot of line work. I was advised to get it done in grey as opposed to black because over time when it blurs a little bit, it will just look like shading as opposed to an aged tattoo. Remember, they want your tattoo to look as good as possible for their portfolio too. 120

  1. Timing

This is something that I didn’t consider when I got my first tattoo, and let me tell you that getting a thigh tattoo in winter is not fun. It’s a pain in the ass putting cream on your tattoo three times a day and then having to rush out to lectures with your trousers stuck to your leg, it feels rotten. If you’re going to get a tattoo that requires wearing summer clothing, get it in the summer time.

  1. SPELLCHECK

If you’re getting words tattooed on your body, check 20 times that it’s spelled correctly on the stencil before the tattoo starts. My artist made me spell out “What will be, will be” about five times before he started the tattooing process, something that I’d encourage you all to do. The last thing that you want is to be left with a “no ragrets” type tattoo.

  1. You will be questioned

119People are always intrigued by tattoos, they’re exotic and wonderful and very cool. Expect to get a lot of “what does that mean?” and “no but what does it REALLY mean?” Eventually you’ll learn the right way to answer these questions. If you plan on showcasing your tattoos on social media sites, prepare for a little weirdness. I went out about a week ago and a guy came up to me and shouted, “I saw your tattoo on Instagram!” and proceeded to pull up my skirt to reveal my thigh tattoo. Weird as hell.

“I’m scared to get my tongue pierced” – Tongue Piercing FAQ

My tongue is probably the piercing that I get questioned the most about, because it’s so popular amongst teenagers, as well as the fact that it’s so visible on my face. So I decided to compile a list of the FAQ’s for those of you who are also considering getting it done:tongue piercing

  1. How much did it hurt?

Contrary to belief, not a lot. I’ve had 11 piercings and this was definitely the one that I was most apprehensive about getting done, I put it off for a few months before I finally gathered up the courage to do it. What scared me the most was my friend, who has a three-year-old son, telling me “I’d rather relive childbirth than go through the pain of getting my tongue pierced again.” But for me it was a weird experience, I could feel the needle going through my tongue but it wasn’t painful. I’d probably give it a 2/5.

  1. Was it expensive?

Mine cost either €40 or €50 and I got it done in Living Art Tattoo and Piercing Studio, Limerick. It’s a fairly standard price for a tongue piercing, you can get it done for cheaper but I’m glad I went with the higher price because I had no problems with healing.

  1. Could you eat afterwards?

tongue piercing 2I was eating chips an hour after I got my tongue pierced so yes, I could eat afterwards. I was hoping that I wouldn’t be able to so that I might lose a few pounds but no, eating wasn’t a problem for me.

  1. Did it swell up?

A small bit, but as I said, not enough to stop me eating. It did swell up after I decided to drink alcohol two days afterwards though, which was a very bad decision and my tongue was in pain from there on out.

  1. What helps with the pain?

Sucking on ice cubes numbs your tongue a little bit, and anti-inflammatory tablets are a must.

  1. Did you talk funny?

I couldn’t talk at all for the first few hours, I sounded like such an idiot. I had a lisp but it went after like a day when I got used to the bar being in my mouth.

  1. How long does it take to heal?

After three weeks, I went back to my piercer and had the bar changed to a shorter one. By then, it was almost fully healed and the swelling had mostly gone down.tongue piercing 3

  1. Is it weird to eat/kiss?

It was hard to get used to eating with it, but it’s fine now. Kissing however, is something I don’t think I’ll ever get used to with this bar wedged in my tongue. It’s just… weird.

  1. Does it damage your teeth?

As long as you don’t play with it, your teeth will be fine. Actually, I always play with mine and haven’t done any damage yet touch wood. If you’re very worried about damaging your teeth you can use a plastic ball instead of the metal ones, that way if you bite down on it you’ll break the ball instead of your teeth.

  1. Is it easy to hide?

No, my Mum noticed it the day I got home from college. But I have a clear bar that I bought for job interviews and work if necessary, and when I wear it you can’t tell that I have it pierced at all. If you’re looking to get a piercing that you can hide from your parents, I wouldn’t recommend your tongue.

If you’re thinking about getting your tongue pierced but like me, are too chicken to do it and keep putting it off, my advice is to just go for it. It’s worth the pain because it looks so cute afterwards, just try not to be one of those people that sticks out their tongue in every single picture. So not cool.

If you have any more questions, feel free to drop me a message on Facebook, and here are the links to my other piercing FAQ posts:

https://liesandbowties.wordpress.com/2015/01/09/septum-piercing-faq/

https://liesandbowties.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/piercing-faq-nose/

To open up, or to shut up and put up?

I’m a very open and honest person, I think we can all gather that one. My direct and truthful ways are what have gotten me over 11,000 combined followers on Twitter and Instagram, as well as 30,000 Youtube views. But of course, there’s many things that you guys don’t know about me, including the fact that I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I was the very opposite. From the age of 10-14 I went through a very, very rough patch. It’s not something that I’ve ever talked about, because I don’t feel comfortable sharing it.

I had shut myself off from the world; my friends, my family, everyone. I lived in my own little bubble, and kept everything to myself. I was upset, I was lonely, and I didn’t know how to cope with all these negative emotions, so I decided that my best option was to keep them all to myself. I dealt with them in my own way. Eventually, it all got too much for me, a young girl, to handle alone, and through the support of my parents I got the help that I needed.shut up 4

For years, I had it drilled into me “You have to open up, you have to talk about your problems” and it took a long time, but eventually I did. It took me seven long years to finally learn how to open up and talk about how I was feeling, and something as simple as that made me feel so much better. I’d been making myself sick by holding in all of my emotions. I’ve been in and out of hospital a countless number of times since I was ten, and I’ve even had surgery twice because of it. I literally had to be cut open because I was putting so much stress on my body that doctor’s thought something was seriously wrong. I even ended up having my appendix removed, for something that I now firmly believe was all down to the stress that my anxiety and overall mental health was having on my body.

During my first semester of college, my anxiety vanished, and I mean it completely went away. No more stomach pains, no more waking up during the night mid-panic attack. Nothing. One day in November I distinctly remember thinking, “I can’t even remember what anxiety feels like” and it was wonderful. All because of something as simple as being in a community where I felt that I could be myself, without judgement. But just recently, as semester two is coming to a close, I realised that things were getting bad again.shut up 3

Mid semester during a rough patch, a comment was made to me by somebody who I had the utmost respect for. A lot of things were going wrong all at once, and I was told that maybe I should just deal with my problems privately. After years of having it drilled into me to talk, talk, and talk some more, this was a real kick in the teeth. A kick in the teeth that really affected me.

If you regularly read my blog, you’ll know that I stopped drinking for two months to see if it would improve my anxiety. I had to do this because after every night out, I got so anxious that I’d discussed my problems with somebody who didn’t want to hear them that it made me sick to my stomach. I know that once I get started discussing my problems that I’ll never stop, and because I’ve held everything in for so long I’ll have to begin right at the beginning, something that I don’t want to do. This has made it so hard for me to talk to anyone, and it’s even left me paranoid about bothering people with my problems. I know it’s stupid, but it’s just the way I feel.shut up

It was after a week where I was stressed about assignments, anxious about life in general, and hadn’t really told anyone the extent of how I was feeling. I was in a lab when I felt a panic attack coming on, so not wanting to make a scene, I left to calm myself down in the bathroom. I was letting my panic attack take its course in the cubicle, but there was a group of girls outside who were concerned, so I went out to them. Then, I collapsed and blacked out. I don’t exactly remember it happening, but it happened, and it scared me. Medic’s had to be called and I was, in the doctors words “out of it and completely dissociative” afterwards. Medically, there was nothing wrong with me thank God. But I’d put myself under so much pressure by dealing with my problems alone that I had collapsed.shut up 2

There’s a certain paranoia I feel about people disliking me because I need to talk about my feelings, and this isn’t an idea that I just pulled out of thin air. There’s a lot of things that I’ve heard recently that have upset me very much. Some don’t get why I feel the need to talk so much, and that’s completely understandable. That’s why I’m writing this, to explain. I try and be a good person, and to be compassionate and understanding to the thoughts and feelings of others, but sometimes I just wish that people would try to understand me too. This is just me being honest. But do I be nice to these people and pretend that I know nothing, or do I stand up for myself? It’s a fine line, one that I’m not sure if I should cross.

I have some amazing, wonderful and true friends. True friends that I know would do anything in the world for me, and I’m so appreciative to have them in my life. True friends that I know I could talk to anything about. Only the problem is, I can’t anymore. It’s become too hard for me to completely open up, and here I am in this rut once again, knowing that when I do completely open up that I’ll have the friendliness of a possessed person in the midst of an exorcism.

My point is, everyone has a story, a past, things that you don’t necessarily know about. Before you tell somebody that their problem isn’t a big deal, that maybe they should stop talking about it, that there’s people who have it worse, think of this blog post. You don’t know what battles a person has been though before, and the struggle they went through to get to where they are today. After finally building up the courage to write this I can firmly say that the next person who makes a comment about my open and honest nature, can shut up themselves.

“Nice Guys Always Finish Last”

We grow up imagining and wishing that our lives could be like the movies; the perfect friends, the perfect life, the perfect guy. But when you think about it, it’s never really straight forward in the movies, is it? I’ve never once seen a movie where it’s all plain sailing, I mean that would be boring. The girl never meets the guy of her dreams and from the very beginning it’s all perfection. There’s usually a chase, some crazy things will happen and there’s probably another girl involved. But the star of the movie always comes out on top, and I guess that’s why girls always go for bad guys. We want to be the good girl who changed the bad guy. We want to be the star of the movie too.nice guy 1

Let me start this by stating that I have nothing against nice guys. You’re wonderful, but sometimes wonderful just isn’t what a girl wants. For something to be straight forward and handed to you is just plain boring, as with all things in life. If we have to work hard for months on end to buy ourselves a new car, do we appreciate it? Hell yeah we do! But what about when our parents just hand it to us? We don’t appreciate it anywhere near as much as we should, because it was easy. Unless we have to fight for something, it’s usually pretty difficult to respect and value it as much as we should.nice guy 3

Back to the movie comparison, movies are always crazy, right? And that’s what girls desire in their lives. We want passion, fire, we want mad things to happen. You can’t have that if everything is just handed on a plate to you. In the movies there’s always obstacles to overcome, there’s always a chase. And although that chase might tear you down and completely exhaust you, it seems to be worth it in the end. It’s not like being with the “nice guy”, where things are always mediocre. With a bad boy, things are either really good, or really, really bad, so the thrill you get when things are going smoothly seems to make it all worth it. Because you experience the lows, you appreciate the highs so much more.nice guy 4

A lot of the time we’re told to go for the nice guy because you’ll never get a long-term relationship out of a fling with a bad boy. And while this is mostly true, subconsciously this can be what a girl is looking for. For girls like myself who are serious commitment phobes, it’s sometimes easier to go for the bad guy because you know that it won’t last. You know you’re going to get hurt, so you’re somewhat prepared for it. This eliminates the possibility of staying with a guy for a long time, only to have your heart broken in the end. Also, if a girl has been hurt before, sometimes she has a “too good to be true” mentality with nice guys. Although we may not want to, after a messy breakup it’s all too easy to think that all guys are the same. It’s easier to just go with the bad guy, so that you know what you’re letting yourself in for.

There’s a certain sense of mystery that comes with bad guys. You’re always thinking, “Why doesn’t he like me?” and “What am I doing wrong?” Yes I’m aware that it’s not exactly healthy, but it sure does keep us on our toes. It keeps us interested, and makes us more attentive of everything. Similar routine of a guy will hit the snooze button on in a woman’s head, and we fall for men who are a bit of a challenge. We all love a challenge, right? Maybe we should take a look at the word “challenge”… Challenges, by nature, are difficult. If a challenge isn’t challenging, then it isn’t a very good challenge to begin with (I just used that word like ten times and I’m really sorry, but you get my point). By making your relationship a challenge, you are literally making it difficult to be with a person. You are creating space between you and the prize. Weird, isn’t it? Apparently, that’s what we want.nice guys 2

Whether you want to admit it or not, everybody loves a bit of drama. Without it, life would be boring, I mean what would you cry about when you’re drunk if there was no upheaval with guys in your life? We crave excitement, and sometimes nice guys just don’t give you that. As I said, when things are going mediocre all the time we never really appreciate it, because we haven’t experienced any bad patches. This can make it all a little boring, which nobody wants to experience.

We’re always told that you never settle with a bad guy, and while that’s true, I think it’s important that we understand why. A women will never settle with a bad guy because they grow out of it. At some point in their lives, like women, men decide that they want to settle down and find a wife, start a family. They’re aware that they can’t do this if they keep messing around with women’s emotions. And more often than not, they change because they’ve met the right girl, and want to stay with her. So that’s what us women are striving for, we want to tame the bad guy. Unfortunately, this can mean that the nice guys get left to the side, which proves the saying “nice guys always finish last”. Because we want to be the good girl who changed the bad guy. We want to be the star of the movie too.